Gender Specific Marriage Instructions

Why Are The Commands To Submit and Love in Marriage Gender Specific?

As I was teaching yesterday, someone asked me this question.

I gave an answer and the class continued.

I woke up this morning and the Holy Spirit in His usual way continued the conversation.

Here’s what I just learned. I’m so excited, I can’t sit still and I can’t wait to share.

When God created man, He gave both man and woman the mandate to dominate every other thing that He had created except each other-Genesis 1:26-28 shows this clearly.

However, at the fall of man in Genesis 3, things got altered a little bit.

God, in dishing out consequences for their actions said to the woman: ‘In pain will you bring forth children; your desire will be for your husband and He will rule over you.

This changed the dynamics of the marriage relationship.

The woman would always love her husband and he started to ‘rule’ her.

However, the original DNA of the woman has not been completely overriden. She somehow knows she was not created to be dominated, so she kicks back against the husbands ‘rulership’.

This rulership is fine by the man anyway because it works very nicely into the dominion mandate he was given at creation.

The rulership & Kickback mechanism is why God inspired Apostle Paul to make gender specific instructions for Christian marriages.

Submission is difficult for a woman who is kicking back from being ruled.

A man focused on ruling will not find it easy to love.

We need to be reminded about God’s original plan.

Mutual submission to each other that plays out in reverence/ submission on the part of the wife and unconditional love on the part of the husband!

I just learnt a serious lesson.

Who’s With Me?



Loving Your Wife God’s Way 3-The Final piece

This post has been long overdue. It’s been pending for over a year.

So that you can get the gist, find the first two parts of this and read

And ladies before you start gloating-especially if you are new to my blog, find the series on submission God’s way and please read it.

Okay guys, lets round this up.

If your relationship with your wife is supposed to be a replica of Christ’s relationship with the church, you are the representative of Christ in your home.

You cannot represent Christ to your wife if you do not know Him. No matter how much you try to love your wife outside of Christ, you will fail.

Therefore your love for your wife is not dependent on her submission to you, its should be a fruit of Christ in you.

Now,that said, if you are to be to your wife what Christ is to the church, one of your responsibilities is to be the priest of your home.

The ‘prayer warrior’ title in your home does not belong to your wife, it belongs to you. This is not to say that a woman should not pray, I am clearly stating that contrary to popular belief and opinions, it is not the woman’s job.

What you sow into your wife is what you harvest and since the harvest always outweighs the seed, check the seeds you’re sowing.

Hold on to the ultimate husband -Jesus as you continue to love your wife God’s way.

Thanks to all who followed this series. I pray you learn something you can use.

I know I’ll be back to use these things soon.

Who’s with me?


I don’t know about you but I grew up hearing a lot about the devil and how powerful he supposedly is.

My people even have a saying which roughly translates to: The devil has power but cannot save anyone.

In response to this assertion, I’ve heard so many ways you should think about the devil and the appropriate response to him.

Most of these responses,I’ve found are fear based. I’ve been told to bind the devil, pray against the devil and the most interesting one is to avoid anything that will put you in the devil’s line of sight.

This last one,I’ve heard so much in recent times- among believers that I began to wonder what we actually believed.

Bottom line,we’ve been taught to be afraid of the devil.

Sometime last week, I stumbled across a very familiar scripture that I’ve known almost my whole Christian life and it struck me in an entirely new light and brought to light how wrong the beliefs I’ve been taught about the devil are.

Read with me: ‘Submit yourselves therefore to God, resist the devil and he shall flee from you’-James 4:7

This scripture clearly spells out a believer’s action plan against the devil and I do not see anything about keeping a low profile so that the devil does not get you. I don’t see anywhere in the word where Christians are told to fear the devil or flee from the devil.

All we are asked to do is to resist the devil. To resist is to stand against. It is however clear that it only someone that is completely submitted to God that can stand against the devil and watch him flee.

If your actions and prayers are still motivated by the fear of the devil and keeping the devil at bay, then check your level of submission to God and His word.

When God rules your life, you can tell the devil a resounding No! and watch him scamper away in fear.

The devil should live in fear of the believer and not the other way round.

Honestly examine your life. Are you living in fear of the devil or in submission to God?

You cannot do both.

One choice leaves you in bondage, the other sets you free.

The choice is tours.

I choose the freedom in submitting to Christ

Who’s with me?