Fast forward with me to the book of Ephesians 5 (bearing in mind that this is after the death of Christ and therefore the dispensation of the Holy Spirit) and let’s look at the most widely read passage at Christian weddings. The topic on relationships starts with an admonition that we should submit to one another.
Yes you read that right, submission is supposed to be mutual!
Note: Men, you might want to take note of the above!
The passage then goes on to explain mutual submission in the marriage relationship starting with wives and that’s where we’ll start. It admonishes wives to submit to their own husbands- the amplified bible suggests the word ‘adapt‘could be used in the place of the word submit. So follow me while I do that.
If wives were to adapt to their husbands, what would this entail? I should think that it would entail a deliberate effort on the part of the wife to study her husband to know his likes and dislikes and the way he would want his things done. It’s not something done in one day; it is a continuous field of study. If this is the case then wives, there is no place in marriage for generalizing or treating your husband like your father. Don’t be lazy, learn your man! Ask questions Clarify issues. Never assume that you know. There’s always more to be uncovered about the human personality so, dig, observe and learn-and be willing to adapt/change where you need to!
Note: Ladies, this admonition is for wives, not girlfriends/fiancees! So even though there is a place of getting to know a man while you are courting, leave the changing or adapting till you’re married.
You will notice that the scripture puts the word ‘own’ before the word ‘husbands’. This emphasis is to me very instructive to ladies both single and married.(single ladies, see above).Now wives, your adaptation should be to your husband and not to another woman’s husband, no matter how important they may be to you. There should be no ‘that’s how my mentor does it so that’s how I’ll do it, or that’s how my mother did it so that’s the way it must be done or that’s how my pastor’s wife does it so that the correct way. DO NOT have a Phd on another man and have a Bsc on your husband! That is just plain wrong!
Your adaptation should be to your husband and your husband only.
I can hear the wheels in some heads spinning saying-yeah, that’s easy for you to say, you’re not married to my husband. He’s impossible! I have no motivation to do anything for him. Well I’ve got news for you wife, when you do it, you’re not doing it for him, and it’s a service to the Lord.
And to the ladies who think this is just too much work to do and is impossible, try adapting (submitting) to God first, you will find it easier to submit to your own husband.
Finally that part ends with two words most women either overlook or dread. ‘in everything’. So no picking and choosing which areas of life you’re adapting(submitting) in, your mandate is for every area!
Quite a lot to swallow for wives right? I know! The post for husbands comes up soon in another series.
Note: Trying to do the above without Christ is like trying to move a rock with bare hands! The effort may be sincere but the result will be failure!
Thanks everyone for hanging with me in this study. The concluding part of this study is coming up soon as I’ve run out of steam for today.